Barfday

I didn't really know what was gonna happen on my birthday because of me being in college. I usually have some kind of birthday dinner with my family every year. I have never thrown a party before. No one's ever thrown me a party before. Anyways, it was my birthday a few days ago and things were a little different this year...

In my communications class my friend texted me, "dude, it's your birthday, we're going to **** apartment tonight and were gonna get fucked up. He bought rum and a shitload of beer!" I didn't really know what to make of this. I was in a little shock so I simply said "okay."

Fast forward to the evening before my birthday.

I'm not really sure what happened. It's not like I blacked out or anything. There are gaps in my memory. I remember drinking a lot of rum and coke and beer. I remember fucking in my friend's bathroom. I remember playing the guitar. I remember my friends singing happy birthday to me when 12AM hit.

Fast forward to the time I left the apartment.

I don't remember leaving the apartment and I don't remember the car ride back to school. I remember puking heavily in the hallway on the way back to the room. I remember my friend patting my back trying to help me. That person ended up barfing/puking/throwing up as well. I remember feeling as if I wouldn't make it out alive. I had to sleep in my friends room because I had an 8AM the next day and I needed him to wake me up which he did. I woke up and saw a puddle in front of the television. My friend peed on the floor last night. All in all, it was a great birthday.

Fast forward to the night of my actual birthday.

I was high. I was baked. At my school it is customary for people to get thrown into the fountain on their birthdays. I wasn't thrown in yet. Keep in mind that it is January, it was nighttime, and I was high as hell. I was sitting down in my room when I heard a knock on the door. My friend was out side with a bunch of other people who wanted to throw me into the fountain. I honestly begged, pleaded, and moaned. I really tried with all my high effort to not get thrown in. I was ambushed and pushed against my will to the fountain. I was thrown in.

*SPLASH*

The end.

Get Shanked

Little bits and pieces of my memory are coming in and out from last night. but one memory just stuck.

After glad handing some acquaintances at the house party i of course said whats up to the women at the party, just because liquor does that. liquid courage, thats what they call it. I walked around feeling warm and bubbly said whats up to some fools that probably wont remember my name. And a night of steady drinking fluids usually results in a large discharge of urine. So i found some obscure corner and did my business, normal, right? wrong. as i walk back i see this white girl running up to the corner and places her hand on the wall, pukes her damn brains out. i mean i dont know if you can re cooperate from shit like that. She kind of stumbled, got some throw up 0n her knee and kind of sat down, whatever, but from the dark you couldnt really see her face. then i see this stumbling dude come and he unzips his pants and not knowing a person is in the corner starts to piss on the girl.....

Bold or Stupid? is it too much to ask for both?

This morning i got breakfast wearing sunglasses, v-neck, short-shorts, sloppy hair and sandals. Thats the way you tell it was a good motherfucking night